Hi caves. Sometimes when a subject is difficult, I don't reply or get in the conversation because I may not understand it or experienced it.
Comparing yourself to others that have a different personality or perspective can be disheartening. For example - my sister and I have very different personalities and experiences being raised in the truth. I was never baptized but she was and lived a very JW life. I suffered because of feeling like an outcast from the rest of the in family and still somehow believing that it was true. I believed I would die at Armageddon. My sister on the other hand, lived the "normal" jw life tho she wasn't a fanatical one. When things happened to reveal that the WT wasn't all what they said and were in fact just greedy hypocritical men - we left. For the most part, my sister has packed up and moved on from the WT. Not that she isn't mad about being lied to but she doesn't want the WT to take any more of her life. I on the other hand, have struggled. Mostly from trying to figure out life and what to do. I get depressed because I haven't any friends and feel down about trying to change things.
When I post here, I don't expect a lot of replies because sometimes it's just me venting or because an idea popped up in my head and I want to see what others think about it. My personality is a little odd so that is another reason not to expect a lot of results.
Anyway, the WT purposely booby traps your mind with it's carefully presented phobias and rules. Sometimes you don't even know what you are thinking is from them. Hope you can come out of your cave.